Relationship for life, is it a myth or reality?

Let's just say that it is not a myth, but a very different thing…in reality.

When we are getting married, we are full of hopes, we want to be happy, to love, to do anything together, and we want it for life or at least for a long, long time. No one thinks like, I'll stay married for a couple of years and then I will get divorced and buy a new car instead.

No, unless for some reason it is a calculated marriage, or your spouse is so rich, that you are planning to kill her/him and "manage his/her estate". No, we are not talking about criminals, we are talking about you and me, just plain ordinary people who want to marry for love and companionship and stay that way.

Naturally, we want the most for our relationship and we want it to last. Why then we are witnessing so many divorces nowadays? It looks like people just cannot stay in a relationship for a long time. Is it that we crave for a change so much, or is it something else?

Life becomes so much easer and more difficult at the same time.

More things we have to deal with.

The pressure of getting the right education: to know how to read and write is not enough any more. We need lots of skills, and it costs money and stress to deal with

We have to live somewhere and it costs money too. People in civilized countries do not want to live in shacks; they want clean apartments with all possible conveniences.

We do not want to use outhouse as a bathroom, or candles instead of electricity, stupid people!

We want cars and nice clothes, and lots of other stuff. Pressure is enormous.

People sometimes do not know how to deal with all that stress; they end up running away from everything including their best friends - their spouses. And your spouse has to be your best friend and supporter.There is no other way. Two people have to join together not for convenience, but for love and only for love. Any other considerations should be irrelevant.

Well, it's good when you and your partner have money, it makes your life easer. You do not have to worry about everyday mundane things, it so stressful when you do not have enough money. Unfortunately money is not everything. It may actually serve against you. Your partner thinks that he's bought you, or you are worried that he might think that way. You feel dependable, or worthless, or something in between, and it's not a good thing.

And it’s not relevant. If you do not have money you can always earn it. In contemporary society you cannot justify marriage for money. It's not right to marry somebody just because he is such a nice person and loves me s-o-o much, and I might never meet a guy like that in future... Wrong!

You can turn around and meet somebody who is thousand times better and nicer, and whom you feel you can love to death. And what if you have already said “I do” to another? How are you going to feel? How badly are you going to hurt your partner? Don’t make a mistake like that.

And one more thing. People sometimes mix love and sexual attraction. And that has nothing to do with each other.

You can have sex with a person and in real life just abhor his/her habits and life style, and feel impossible to live together under the same roof. And you have to realize that nowadays you can have sex with anybody legal age, but you should not rush and get married just because you two slept together couple of times and found it nice.

Life together and marriage are more than that. IF YOU DO FEEL THAT YOU NEED THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE 24 HOURS A DAY AND YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THAT PERSON WILL BE EMPTY AND MEANINGLESS, then you should go and get married, but you have to make sure that your partner feels the same. Not that he/she loves you because you love him/her, but because you can really be a missing link in his/her life. Then it’s worth it. Because marriage is a very emotional and bonding thing, and to break it for any reason is very difficult, especially when children are involved.

We should feel free and equal in our marriage.

Free to make important decisions, equal in our ability to take or refuse something that we do not like or do not want, and capable to understand the rights of our partner for life to do the same.

And we should always remember: men and women – we are different, but we are alike too. And our differences attract and compliment each other, and make our living fun and life great and fulfilling.

A man cannot and should not think and behave like a woman, and woman should always be what she is – a smart and beautiful creature, as long as there is a man who looks at her with love and appreciation and adores her for what she is, and forgives her for what she is not. Then their relationship can last forever. Or... untill another attraction shows up.